Chocolate overdose

I’d never overdosed on chocolate until last week, and believe me, I’ve spent my whole life trying. But, let’s face it, most chocolate in the UK contains a rubbish 30% cocoa solids and the good stuff costs a fortune, so even if you want to eat it til you’re sick, few people can afford to.

So it is with huge thanks to the Kebele Community Co-op in Easton, Bristol, and Bristol Animal Rights Collective that I got to experience the full delights of the chocolate OD. Up til then I’d never really believed chocolate was that powerful a drug, or maybe that’s because I’ve spent years building up a tolerance. But when I went to the Kebele for their vegan chocolate tasting evening I was faced with this:

One side of the Kebele lined with chocolate

See all that chocolate? That’s not even half of what was on offer.

Ice cream, chocolate milk, truffles, chocolate bars, raw chocolate, chocolate mousse, and none of it with any animal products in.

Now I must confess to having eaten three Bendicks Bittermints (not vegan) just before I left the house, but still, in the interests of science, I kept my promise to try every single chocolate on offer.

I started at the door and worked my way slowly down the left, pausing to praise the florentines and drink copious amounts of water.

Then I worked my way up the right side:

Hipo Hyfryd's wonderful handmade chocolates

This was the domain of Hipo Hyfryd, one crazy obsessed guy from Cardiff and his single estate homemade chocolates. God knows how I did it, but I managed to get down several of his cardamon and pistachio truffles. I was going to go to his talk on making truffles, but by now my tummy was starting to hurt with overstretching. I made my farewells and staggered six doors down the road to my friend Hazel’s, where I lay groaning on the sofa, drinking tea and realising I was completely off my face.

Now, in my opinion, this is a result. To be hearing my voice coming from the other side of the room instead of from inside me because I’ve eaten too much chocolate is a new one to me.

I wonder, was I the only one, or where there women all over Bristol clutching their tummies and cackling, having finally made it to chocolate heaven.

The Kebele I salut you!

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